The holidays are coming: are you lonely yet?

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who did not, at some point in their lives, whether by force or by choice, have to spend the holiday season alone. We’ve all been there: the holidays, even if you’re surrounded by people, can be some of the loneliest times. The risk of a lonely Thanksgiving and Christmas is even more hyper-charged now, because of social media and the endless ads of happy families, or countless pictures of other people’s fabulous family-and-friend-rich holiday travels and fun (whether it’s real or not).

So anyway, it’s an awful feeling and some people may already be dreading the fact they will be spending the holidays alone. So, I’ve got an article coming out at Catholic Stand this week on that topic - I think it publishes Monday - and then Thursday I’ll be back on my regular 8:20 am time on Morning Air to talk about it. Specifically, it’s what we can do to fend off the loneliness if we are spending the holidays alone. That includes things like acts of service, but also the advice to stop comparing ourselves to others. Social media is the thief of joy in every sense, especially when so much of what people put there is fake, “curated,” and edited to look the best. Maybe all the people you see in those pictures actually hate each other. So just relax and let the comparison go.

I’ll share the article here when it’s up, and hope you will join me on air this Thursday!

Project Guadalupe 2031: Are you in?

I recently became aware of Archbishop Cordileone’s Project Guadalupe 2031. And I love it! I have long had a devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe, and am fortunate to have visited in 2005, which was actually before I was a practicing Catholic. I believe it planted some seeds, though I was oblivious at the time. I think the draw for me is both the beauty and story of the apparition - and the results, millions of conversions - as well as her role as “Patroness of Americas.” She is a powerful intercessor.

Background on the project: in honor of the 500-year anniversary in 2031 of the appearance of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Archbishop C. and the Benedict XVI Institute launched this three-pronged initiative to celebrate. The three prongs are celebrations of Frank La Rocca's Mass of the Americas, with a focus on Cathedrals and parishes dedicated to Our Lady of Guadalupe; a conference and book (dates to be announced); and a home enthronement initiative for Our Lady of Guadalupe (you can read about my own experience with home enthronement here).

It would be wonderful to attend one of the Masses, and even the conference, though for most people home enthronement may be the most realistic option. There is no doubt there will be great good that comes of this initiative, as there is any time people come together to honor the Blessed Mother, which is essentially the same thing as “Where two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:20)

Our Lady of Guadalupe, pray for us, pray for the Americas, and especially for the United States! Jesus, I trust in you.

Is it really in my power to have a "good" Advent?

I mentioned in my last post that Advent starts this year on November 30. You may already be receiving emails from various Catholic publishers advertising their Advent resources. I get a bit greedy at this time - I want to read, pray, and do them all. I really want to have a “good” liturgical season, whichever it may be. I want to go deep, I want to be transformed, I want to do it now!

But is that really how it works? I see how liturgical seasons can feel competitive. For example, as I have written before, there is always that feeling during Lent to sacrifice the most, and even to see the results (weight loss!) of that sacrifice. It can be competition with others, but often it is simply competition with ourselves. The prayer and sacrifices must always be better than the year before.

But what even is a “good” Advent, Lent, or other season? Are we the judges of that? Is it even in our power? How much does the Holy Spirit have to do with it?

When we take this competitive approach to a season, it totally dilutes the purpose of the season, as we make it about ourselves, and not God. I say dilute rather than destroy because I do believe anything we offer up, the Lord uses. Also, pretty much everyone has some level of selfishness, and sometimes it is even in that selfishness that God finds us. So basically, it is a good desire to have “the best Advent ever;” it is when we lose sight of the spiritual purpose of Advent that we get mixed up.

Also, it is not in our power to have a “good” liturgical season, and we aren’t really the judges of it, anyway. God works through us, not the other way around. There is such a thing as “dry” prayer, or spiritual desolation. We do not stop praying during those times, though, we carry on in faith. And it may be that that is your sacrifice of this season, and it bears more spiritual fruit for you than an hour every morning with Fr. Mike Schmitz’s Advent prayer book (this is the one I want to get, by the way).

Take a step back from whatever kind of goals you set with your Advent time. Set the goal simply to be present and do whatever it is you decide to do, rather than getting ahead of yourself by measuring the outcomes. This isn’t a corporate job with a performance review, it’s your inner life and your relationship with Jesus. He’s there. He’ll always be there. Expect the unexpected and be open to it.

One last note: whatever your Advent looks like, I do find value in the practice of being with the “Advent figures.” These are the people who were there at the birth of Jesus, or played some role - Mary, Joseph, the shepherds, the Magi. Advent is a visually beautiful time of year, and you can spend contemplative prayer with these individuals, and allow them to accompany you during your prayer time.

Here’s to the the best Advent ever - as God wills it for each of us, and as we cooperate with the Holy Spirit!