I have been reflecting on something this Christmas, which is, what is it that “makes” Christmas? What makes us feel the holiday season, like the holiday is complete? I won’t say satisfying, because as we all know, from a consumer perspective, Christmas is rarely satisfying. The over-commercialization of Christmas is what leads many people to claim Thanksgiving as their favorite holiday. But can’t we at least feel the excitement of Christmas in a way that is truly fulfilling?
A better question yet: what is it that makes it a good Christmas?
I’ll share what led to this thought: it’s the realization that, increasingly as I get older, life changes, and my family changes, Christmas now looks very different than it did growing up. I also realize I had the impression that Christmas has to “be” a certain way in order for it to really be Christmas. What does that mean?
Well, for most people, there are external signs of Christmas. There are certain movies that must be watched, and ornaments that must be hung. There may be a tree lighting you always attend, a neighborhood with special lights that you drive through, certain meals and desserts made, games played or walks taken, and even particular stores that you visit to shop. In other words, there are traditions. And the traditions are what make Christmas.
But what I am realizing is: that is not the case.
For example: what if you were in the middle of moving your house and didn’t have access to your ornaments or decorations? What if you had a sick relative in the hospital and didn’t have time to decorate, let alone bake, cook, and host? What if you just lost your job and can’t spend money on a real tree? What if you just simply didn’t have time, for whatever reason, to watch the traditional movies? These are all real things that happen all the time to everyone around us - or ourselves. But it doesn’t mean that Christmas isn’t happening.
Christmas is your call. It’s how you spend it, it’s what’s important to you and those you spend it with. It does not look a certain way, despite Hallmark movies and displays at the mall, or even what your past Christmases looked like.
Because, ultimately Christmas isn’t about any of these things. It is quite literally about the birth of God into the human world. It is the coming of the savior prophesied for thousands of years. The savior who, out of extravagant love for mankind, then went on to His death, for our sakes, and altered the course of human history and the meaning of life forever. It all began at Christmas. Really, it seems that the most important thing one can do is go to Mass on Christmas and give alms there and elsewhere. The rest is all a bonus.
So, don’t worry about how many decorations you put up, or how many treats you bake for the neighbors, how many people come to your Christmas party, and whether everyone has matching pajamas on Christmas morning. And certainly don’t beat yourself up if you don’t have all the things you think you should. None of this should be a competition, with yourselves, or others.
A “good” Christmas is one where we keep the reason for the holiday front and center. And if for any reason you are having trouble this year, simply take it to prayer and ask God to give you a good Advent, and a good Christmas season - the way he would have it, not the way we would have it.
And if you do have a wonderful, perfect Christmas - congratulations! Then, do as St. Ignatius would advise and treasure up the graces of this time for a future year when you may feel spiritual desolation because of physical circumstances. It will likely happen, and that is okay. It happens to everyone, because life is not perfect.
