There is No Saint of the Brokenhearted

My latest article, There is No Saint of the Brokenhearted, is up on Catholic Stand today and pasted below.

In related exciting news, please join me at 7:15 AM (eastern) time tomorrow, 4/19, as I once again join John Harper on Relevant Radio's Morning Air program to discuss how and why there is no patron saint of broken hearts. You can listen online here.

Did you have a nice Easter? Are you praying the Divine Mercy novena? I spent mine at home, with family and friends, quietly and peacefully in the southern sunshine. Dogwoods were bursting, bumblebees were taking flight in the backyard and several bold, shimmering hummingbirds made an appearance at the feeder. It was strange to see sunshine and peace so abruptly at the end of Lent. I have spent the past few weeks - particularly Holy Week - meditating on some rather deep and heavy things, as a part of the Lenten Ignatian retreat, in keeping with the serious tone of Lent. I had been meditating on sin in the world; abandonment; broken relationships; and the last bitter week of Christ's life. Then suddenly on Sunday everything was new and all that came before was simply past.

I think this is what people - me included - struggle with when it comes to approaching Jesus for who and what He really is. He makes all things new. Not better or different or slightly improved, but brand new. What does this mean for our hearts, for our way of life, for the way we see the world? What do you do with pain that was left behind when you found Christ - but which still informs the way you see the world? Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, that must be why I wrote this article now, even though I've considered the topic for a long time. Spoiler alert: the reason why, at least in my opinion, that there is no patron saint of broken hearts (for whatever reason your heart is broken, not just limited to dashed romantic hopes) is because there is no saint capable of handling your pain and holding your heart together. There just isn't, because that's Jesus's job. As one person commented on the article, all saints have experienced their own form of heartbreak, yes, and perhaps to experience something deep and painful is how you get to holiness (now that is a whole other topic worthy of contemplation - can you grow without suffering? What would you guess is my answer to that?). But just because a saint who lived on earth suffered, that doesn't mean they are the true lover of your heart and One capable of healing you. You know who is.

Well, I suppose that is my prayer for now, the one I will breathe and live in for the next few days: that we all use our suffering for growth, and as we experience heartbreak - again, of whatever form that strikes at your heart - that, over time, we find meaning in it. Ask God to show you what He is teaching you, because chances are, He is. Remember that God takes away from you what is necessary to take away, just as He gives when it is right, even when to our very human eyes and minds it is senseless. And it's all right to sit in those feelings. But then, He desires us to move on, and you can.

Without further adieu:

There Is No Saint of the Broken Hearted

When times are tough, I — like many Catholics — turn to my friends, the saints. Whether you’re searching for a job, battling breast cancer, or asking for a safe journey, there’s usually a saint for every cause.

So why is there a saint for toothaches, bad storms, and mice infestations, but not for the most anguishing of human conditions, a broken heart?

Look to Jesus

The answer is Jesus. I believe the Church has been infinitely wise in never appointing a saint to be our safeguard against a broken heart because, rather than look to an earthly guide, we are called to turn our sorrow over to Jesus’s heart.  

Jesus understands our heartbreak. Think of how He wept at Lazarus’s death, the agony He experienced in the garden of Gethsemane, and His painful knowledge of a future betrayal by His own disciple. He spent the last few years of His life despised and misunderstood, dying a humiliating and agonizing death. Even now, I believe He looks on the world’s brokenness and feels grief for how much heartbreak we experience here on earth, and the ways His children turn their backs on Him.

Scripture tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” It is a critical component of our relationship with Christ that we learn to turn over our suffering to Him.

Approach God in Your Suffering

If you are in a place of mourning or sadness, there are a few ways to approach God in order to find solace and healing. One is to contemplate Christ’s suffering during His time here on Earth. For example, praying the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary – and not just praying, but visualizing, feeling, and experiencing those mysteries and spending some time with Jesus in His sorrow– will bring you closer to Him and give your own loss perspective.

Another way to seek peace is to have a prayerful conversation with Jesus about what you’re going through that’s hurting. Speak honestly and conversationally to Him as you would a friend. Talk about the root of your heartbreak, and ask for His help. You may ask Him to show you not just what can be learned from your situation and how to bear it, but to remind you of your blessings. Also, if you’re a little annoyed at Him for allowing this to happen, that’s okay, too, but let Him know that as you pray for perspective.

Most importantly, turn your suffering straight over to Jesus and His Sacred Heart, asking Him to help you carry your burden. Sometimes we forget that God does not intend us to carry all the weight of our problems on our own; He desires that we reach out and seek Him with a willing (even if broken) heart. There are multiple prayers to His Sacred Heart, and one of my favorites contains this phrase:

“To whom can I turn if not to You, Whose Heart is the source of all graces and merits? Where should I seek if not in the treasure which contains all the riches of Your kindness and mercy? Where should I knock if not at the door through which God gives Himself to us and through which we go to God? I have recourse to You, Heart of Jesus. In You I find consolation when afflicted, protection when persecuted, strength when burdened with trials, and light in doubt and darkness.”

As Saint Paul tells us, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts.” (Romans 5:5, emphasis added) There will never be a time when you cannot access God’s love and grace.

Remember His eternal promise to you: “I am with you always, until the end of time.” (Matthew 28:20)

Other Intercessors?

Although Jesus is our best friend and the true lover of our hearts, we would be remiss to overlook one more powerful figure who understands suffering: His Mother, Mary.

Turn to the Blessed Mother whose own Immaculate Heart was pierced with the swords of sorrow. If there is any human who can understand your anguish it is her, and, as the Memorare reminds us, “Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.” We can emulate the Holy Mother in her “yes” to God: Lord, help me to accept your will for me, even when the way is unclear.

When it comes to heartbreak, the Church has not abandoned us. While there may not be a designated patron saint of the brokenhearted, we have something much better: Jesus. In all of your sorrow, know that He is the ultimate source of love and healing, and is the one Person who will never break your heart.

Talking about Gratitude; Thinking About Lent

I had a great time joining John Harper on Morning Air Radio again yesterday morning, to discuss how gratitude is a prayer. One fun and different part was that people actually called in, so I got to speak with a couple women in other parts of the country on this, one of my favorite topics. Very fun!

Check out the audio here, starting pretty much right at 43:00:

http://relevantradio.streamguys.us/MA%20Archive/MA20170330b.mp3

On a different note, last night I met for the second to last time with my spiritual director for the duration of the Lenten retreat I am on. Suddenly I realized how close we are to the end of this major liturgical season, and as I do with all those seasons the Church has, I began looking back on how it's gone.

The thing is, even though I gave up both sweets and alcohol (you know, why not, tradition), I really didn't notice all that much. Honestly, giving up sweets is much harder for me, because I like nibbling on something after I've eaten, and tend to have a drawer full of chocolate or cookies or something at my desk. This is actually part of why I have become such a tea-fanatic, because that was my way to cope last year. Now I just like tea a lot.

Anyway, I don't drink enough wine, etc. to make the alcohol one all that noticeable, though there were a few times where I withheld in a social or work situation and was reminded of the thing I learned a few years ago, the first time I tried giving up alcohol: no one cares if you drink or not. Maybe if you're in college, but not in the adult world. And if they do, it probably has something more to do with them, than you.

So instead, the daily prayer is what's really been the focus for me this Lenten season, and how rich it has been. Because I have focused more on this "adding something" (prayer) than "taking something away" (sweets, alcohol) Lent this year has taken on a whole new feeling. The practice of Ignatian spirituality at its core is about getting closer to God and developing a very real, active and deep relationship with Jesus, as you would with another person you know. So putting in that time - showing up to the prayer, being faithful and prioritizing it, because it is so important - has yielded wonderful richness and insight, a little of which I've written about recently. That, to me, seems to be the whole point of Lent, and much more significant than anything I've "given up" in the past. So although my little culinary sacrifices were there, they weren't the main thing; not at all. And I think in future years I will take this "adding on" approach, rather than a "subtracting one," to get closer to God during Lent. Or for any time of year, for that matter.

Gratitude is a Prayer

Dear readers, my latest Catholic Stand article is up, and it is called "Gratitude is a Prayer." The point I was trying to (and hopefully did) make is that just saying "thank you" to God for every little thing in your life is a way to pray. I love how many forms of prayer exist and are accessible to us, not just as Catholics, but in all faiths. Why can't a thank you be a prayer? It unites you to God in acknowledgement of His gifts and deference to His power. It also helps us feel the love He has for us, as his creation. The text of the article is below, and the original can be read here. Enjoy! p.s. Happy solemnity of St. Joseph! 

Gratitude is a Prayer

While recently considering the many types of prayer we can use when talking to God, I recalled a conversation I had last fall with a priest. The topic was envy, and my desire to avoid it. In response, this priest recommended I pray a decade of the rosary and, before each bead, think of something for which I was grateful.

I remembered this last week as I sat in the depths of Ignatian-focused prayer. Those who have experienced Ignatian spirituality know that, occasionally, God or the Holy Spirit will settle a little bit of light and understanding into your prayer time.

Out of this prayer time came the thought that gratitude is its own prayer.

Why is Gratitude a Form of Prayer?

When we pray to God out of pure thankfulness, we are acknowledging Him as Creator and, in that sense, we are worshiping Him. It is like St. Francis of Assisi’s Canticle of Brother Sun and Sister Moon, which opens, “Most high, all-powerful, all-good Lord, All praise is yours, all glory, all honor, all blessings.” When you thank God for His movement in your life, you are not far removed from praising him. A “thank you” to our Heavenly Father unites us to Him: creation worshiping its Creator in loving gratitude. It is our most basic offering, the simplest way to unite your will to His including – and perhaps especially – when His will is unclear.

How Can I Prayerfully Practice Gratitude in My Daily Life?

If you desire to practice gratitude in a prayerful way, begin small (and remember that God is in all things). A simple place to start is, “God, I am grateful for my job and family.” Before moving on, sit with that feeling of thankfulness for a few moments. Consider each individual family member; think deeply on how you spend your time at work and notice how each moment of your day is a gift from God.

Eventually you can move on to something more personal, acknowledging the gifts God has given you in a non-material sense. Have you ever thanked God for making you the way you are? “God, thank you for the gift of being outgoing, because it makes it easier to make friends.” Seriously! You could substitute any number of words there: thank you for making me someone who cares about the environment, someone who is a great runner, full of ambition, always on time, has great luck with parking spots. Each and every little thing that makes you you is a gift from God, and believe me, he knows those parts of you better than you do. He knows parts of you that you don’t even know!

Eventually, as you move through praying actively in gratitude and acknowledgement for the things, people, and circumstances of your life, you can simply pray, “Thank you.” Thank you, God, for being in all things, for creating this world, and for placing me in it here and now, exactly where I belong. It is amazing how quickly our blessings, large and small, add up – way more than fit in a decade of the rosary.

What Happens When Thankfulness Becomes My Prayer?

I can share from my own experience: lately everything looks different, perhaps brighter. I am noticing things I never have before, or which never caught my eye, whether that is a planter full of tiny flowers or the pattern on the pavement.

This is because when you begin practicing gratitude for more things in your life, inevitably you cannot help but become full of awe for everything God has created. More than that, you gain a sense of awareness of God’s presence in all that is around you, and how everything is, truly, connected.

Give It a Try

If you struggle with prayer, this notion of gratitude as its own form of prayer is especially applicable. Some days, the best we can do is roll out of bed and think, “Thank you, God, for letting me see another day,” and never give Him another glance. It is not beautiful or poetic, and yet how delighted God is to hear from you! It is one small, yet important step toward being with God, acknowledging His presence in your life, and asking for a little more closeness to Him. Our gratitude is enough for God, and it opens to the doors to a richer inner life.