The Story of Tobit

This week has contained some of my favorite readings from the Bible, all within the story of Tobit. This is a great time of year for the daily readings. I think something that is emphasized time and again throughout the Bible is how it's okay to be human - it is in fact necessary for getting closer to God - and no character epitomizes this better than Tobit (though maybe Peter, too).

If you're not familiar with the story, Tobit is a husband and father who is very devout and always looking for ways to help others, including providing a proper burial for his kinsman against the king's wishes. He is really quite aware of his own charitable nature, saying, "I, Tobit, walked in the ways of truth and righteousness all the days of my life, and I performed many acts of charity to my brethren and countrymen" (Tobit 1:3). Not so humble. 

Through a series of events he falls into favor with the ruling class, falls back out, must move his family, and survive. Then one night after one of his charitable acts he sleeps outside, gets poo'd upon by a pigeon and wakes up with a blinding "film" over his eyes. The next series of events involves his wife, his son Tobias, his son's future wife, a massive fish and the angel Raphael who basically makes everything better. You can read a summary of the drama here.

Many people focus on the "film" detail of this story and what Tobit's blindness means, symbolically, but I have always been much more interested in Raphael's role. Once upon a time I read that it is good to pray to the angel Raphael for "good meetings," as he is the agent by which Tobias and his future wife Sarah meet, as well as the one who shows Tobias how to find his way home. Of course during his interactions with the family, Raphael does not reveal himself to be an angel, until they try to give him money for his services, at which point he has to come clean: "I am Raphael, one of the seven holy angels who present the prayers of the saints and enter into the presence of the glory of the Holy One" (Tobit 12:15). Okay!

Could't we all use a Raphael? Someone to show up, lead the way, fix the mess and not even want a tip? Then I thought - well, we really do. That's what trust and faith in God is all about. You have Jesus and Mary, the intervention of the saints, your guardian angel and loved ones who have passed on. And, I'm guessing, Raphael himself probably shows up every once in a while, incognito, to smooth your path. Just ask him to - he's very good at it, and I bet he'd be much obliged. He'll even remove the blindness from your eyes (from your life).

Above all he asks Tobit and Tobias to always, always, praise God: praise him in front of others for all he has done in your life. "Do not be slow to give him thanks," he advises (Tobit 12:6). I think Raphael knows what he is talking about. As I have written about before, gratitude is a state of mind, it is a habit, it is an orientation toward God. If all else falls away in your life, what you will have left is a relationship with God, sustained by your direct thanks to him for making you and asking you to be as His. Simply making that prayer of thanks is enough.

May Raphael lead us toward the people, places and things that will help us live our lives according to God's will.

Pentecost Sunday: You are the Clay

Here we are! The final Sunday of the Easter season, the day when Jesus breathed the life-giving breath of the Holy Spirit on the apostles, charging them with spreading his word to all mankind. In that moment he made missionaries of his followers, a directive which has crossed through the generations to you and me. We are charged by the Holy Spirit to spread his word and live our lives according to Christ's teachings. What a beautiful thought - we have the same mission as the apostles!

This is always a special day for me, not just because I love the Holy Spirit and seeing how He moves in our lives, but because I remember the Pentecost Sunday where I became confirmed. It was just three years ago, though it seems longer because it is hard to remember the time before that, when I was mostly lost, whether I realized it or not. I wanted meaning, I wanted something deeper, but was mostly concerned with school work, my career and having a good time. These are not bad things, but when not ordered toward something more perfect - God - they can become demi-gods themselves. That's where I was, and thanks to the grace of my confirmation on that beautiful June day, that is what I left behind.

What has been so wonderful to learn in that time is that the search for God is a life-long journey. When Bishop Loverde made the sign of the cross on my forehead in oil, I wasn't finished. I wasn't magically healed and transformed into the perfect human being God intended for me to be (can we even be perfect on earth? That's a whole other topic). It's like the image of the old and new wine skins from  Matthew 9:17: "Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

As a newly-confirmed Catholic, I was the new wineskin. God gave me just a little new "wine" - spiritual knowledge - but not any more than I could handle. And if I had remained in my previous life (old wineskin) and been given new "wine," I would have ignored it or not known what to do. I suppose that is exactly what I did all those years when my sister or others would invite me to Mass and I didn't go. 

Similarly, someone once gave me this great image: it is like we are clay in God's hands, and he forms us over time. If you have worked with clay, you know you have to take it slow, forming and molding gently with small movements. The slightest wrong move can throw your pot entirely. So with us, God give us the little bit of growth we can handle - just enough to stretch and take us to a new level. And then after that, a little more, and a little more...

I look back on the things that scared me in 2014. For example, I began to think about starting a young adult group at my church, which I did. I guess I was afraid of - people not liking me? The group not taking off? Having to talk about my faith in a public way? Now, it's genuinely funny to imagine being scared by any of those things. So God pushed me ever so slightly, and I served him, and I grew, and then he pushed me some more, and my life is very different now than it was then. There is less fear. And I know there will be even greater things to come in the future, because that's just how it is when you respond to God willingly and with an open heart.

And even there, in that instance, that was the Holy Spirit working in my life. A small voice of inspiration ("Why don't you start a young adult group? Begin a blog?" and now I'm on the radio every month, and on it goes). The Holy Spirit is so good at knowing us and calling us to use our gifts, and every little gift has value. Are you really good at making ziti? Then, God bless you, make it and bring it to the church potluck. That's it! You have used your skills to nourish and comfort another. These are the gifts He calls out of us, just as He did the first apostles. You don't have to convert the entire European continent. Use what you have, where you are, in accordance with God's will and the call of the Holy Spirit, and you will have lived your God-given mission on this planet. Praise God for that! He has called us to be messengers, and he has given us all the tools we need.

Discernment and the Holy Spirit

When I was on retreat earlier this year I had a conversation with my priest about discernment. There was something in my life I was trying to make a decision about, and I felt I had interpreted some pretty specific signs, leading me to believe I had discerned a very clear and certain way forward on that particular question.

His response surprised me. As he explained, discernment of God's will in your life is less about concrete signs and more about reading the push and pull of all the directions of your life. Big decisions rarely come with an "I'm the right choice!" kind of sign, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was correct. You will see God move in one direction, and then the other, and it is up to you to discern what is going on.

Which leads me to another thought: there was a time in my life when I always needed to know what came next. Spoiler alert: life doesn't work that way. If William Shakespeare tells us life is a stage or a play, that's fine, but I can tell you all I know is that there is another act coming and I don't know what my lines or costume are. You just have to show up and play along. And, usually, it works out fine.

What changed my attitude about needing to know "how things turn out" was the realization that there is never just one purely right choice. Think about if you are considering a new job, a relationships or a trip somewhere. There have been countless, infinite instances where you could have chosen another job, another date, another trip - and so what? There was never one singular path you were destined for. You make a decision based on what you know at the time, using the best information and guesses you have. And then, you move on.

The other element that makes this easier is trust in God. I write, and think, so much about this because I do not think it is the most natural part of human nature to say, "Okay, God, you take this one!" But that's where the Holy Spirit comes in. This Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, also known as the birth of the Church and we are right in the middle of the Pentecost Novena (not too late to join!). In my own prayers during this novena, I am not exactly asking for anything concrete, but rather, the ability to discern via the Holy Spirit where my path is taking me, generally speaking. That's it. The gift of discernment. And then to follow His will, wherever it takes me, without shock or question, but with full trust. That must be one of the greatest gifts of the Holy Spirit - full trust in our Lord.