What Happens When we Don't Pray? (and hear me on the radio)

Dear friends, I have been invited back on Relevant Radio for a long'un this coming Wednesday, October 25 at 7 AM. You can listen live here.

I'll be talking about my latest article at Catholic Stand, called What Happens When We Don't Pray? Short answer: you miss out on a life of blessings, not the least of which is a deeper relationship with God. The article is also copied below.

I say it's a long'un because I'll have the whole 20-25 minutes to talk with the hosts. Whew! Best dust off the ol' vocal chords, eh?? Say a little prayer that I've got something good to say, eh??

For real though, I mean it that the most basic prayer we can ever pray is: God - help me accept your will, help me be an instrument of your peace, help me love others as you have loved me. If we can get that down with a sincere heart, we're in good shape. Everything else kind of follows from that. 

What Happens When We Don't Pray

I never had much of an intentional prayer life outside of the rosary until this year, when I discovered Ignatian spirituality and contemplative prayer. This form of imaginative prayer has been a rich experience for me and become a daily source of comfort: an hour every morning, in total silence, just me and God.

Because of the deepness of this experience – the closer relationship with Jesus, a better understanding of myself, and a greater sense of peace, to name a few things – it is difficult for me to imagine life before I had this prayerful component a part of my every day. Looking back on the fruit of this experience, it made me wonder – what happens when we don’t pray?

Prayer is a Conversation with God

It is so important to start with this fact. I remember hearing this long ago and thinking, “Okay, but it’s still really just talking into a void and hoping something works out the way you want.” But it really is a conversation with God, the One who created you and knows your heart better than you know it yourself. To say there is value in talking to the Creator of the universe and the greatest lover of your soul is an understatement. More importantly, I believe that God is waiting to hear from us, to speak to us, and that only in making ourselves available through prayer can we truly have a relationship with Him. After all, how could you ever have a relationship with your spouse, child, or coworker if all you ever did was talk atthem? Or not at all?

How God Views His Children

One of the wonderful truths that has resonated with me during my time in contemplative prayer is the idea that God wants so much for us. I do not mean that in a corny way, but in a truthful way – it is impossible for us to plan for ourselves a greater life than the one God wants to give us.

Recently I meditated on Psalm 43, which is full of God’s declarations of love for His children: “I have called you by name, you are mine;” “I give Egypt as your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you.” (43:1-4) These are not simply words in the Old Testament; they are the reality of how God views you and me today. This is a God who wants your whole heart, and you can give it to Him in prayer.

Gifts from God

The gifts of prayer are not necessarily material, though there is the power of interventionist prayer, for example, which cures cancer or averts a wreck. What I am speaking of is the act of personal, quiet, persistent prayer which is an act of coming before God with one’s whole self in order to discern God’s will. The Holy Spirit will never overcome our personality or override what will make us happy; the greatest happiness is in living in accordance to God’s will. Prayer, then, becomes less about asking for things, and more simply about seeking God and His kingdom.

It is as if there is a great room full of presents, all wrapped up and unopened, perhaps watched over by our guardian angels. These are the gifts God wants to give us, if we would only meet Him and ask in prayer: self-knowledge, generosity of spirit, overcoming fears, boundless creativity. When we do not meet with God in prayerful conversation, we risk passing up on what He wants to share with us, and ultimately, the life He wants to create with us.

Prayer Changes Us

I see, too, that entering into a prayerful relationship with God makes other forms of prayer – like those that are spontaneous or desperate – become more second-nature. If I am devoting a half hour to prayer each morning, it follows that when something goes wrong in my day, my natural reaction will be to pray over it, rather than worry.

Similarly, developing a deep prayer life can show us how connected we are to God as an active part of His creation. Prayer can help us have a role in God’s creation.  There are many causes and needs to pray for, if we pay attention. That is the power of prayer, that we can change the world. Think about natural disasters, wars, illness, and all the tragedies of life that affect humanity. By speaking with God about these things, we truly are able to change, or at least affect, the outcome. For example: recently many Americans prayed a 54-day novena for our country, which ended on October 6. On that same day, President Trump announced a revision to the HHS mandate, the component of the Affordable Care Act which required private employers to cover contraception for their employees’ healthcare, a violation of freedom of conscience. I truly believe that the faithful prayer of a nation caused this outcome, and many others, that have averted disaster or at least lessened its burden. If we do not pray, then we forfeit the opportunity to help all the people and causes which need our help.

Where Do I Begin?

In the Ignatian tradition, prayer is considered an exercise, as in “the spiritual exercises,” and is therefore something which takes practice. For our modern minds, where a 5 minute YouTube video is too long, this can take some getting used to initially.

In his great book on contemplative prayer, Armchair Mystic, Mark E. Thibodeaux, SJ says there are four stages of prayer. The first is “talking at God,” followed by “talking to God,” “listening to God,” and “being with God.” So you see, moving through the depth of prayer is like growing from a babbling toddler to a receptive and wise adult.

No matter which specific prayer you choose – the Our Father, the Rosary, the Examen at the end of the day, a novena or a full-on Ignatian retreat – stick with it and do not judge yourself as you begin your prayer practice. As Saint Theresa of Calcutta said, “We are not called to be successful, but faithful.” God is overjoyed simply that we show up to spend time with Him. Remember that if your first several times practicing at prayer are marked by a wandering mind, a twitchy leg, and the distracting sound of the neighbor’s yappy dog, many saints have gone before you on that path (and with far greater desolation and spiritual temptation than the chihuahua next door). You are in good company.

Understand, too, that God hears all prayers, and answers each one, though not necessarily where and how we would like. Prayer, then, is also an exercise in learning to accept God’s will for our lives. Truly, the simplest and yet the greatest prayer is to ask God for acceptance of His will, for the grace to be a willing instrument of His peace where He has need, and to learn to love others as He has loved us. If we can sincerely pray for these things, with a willing heart, we open ourselves to an abundance of God’s blessings and deeper, authentic relationship with Him. That is the true gift of the spiritual life enriched by prayer.

#Fatima100 at the Basilica

On Friday night I got to participate in a very special celebration at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in honor of the 100th anniversary of the Miracle of the Sun. I shuffled over after work, my glasses misting up with the light rain, and entered the sanctuary of the church. The rosary had already begun, and someone handed me a blue candle and lit the flame from his own. The Fatima statue was right there, waiting at the back to be carried forward, all adorned with flowers.

I always love to hear Cardinal Wuerl give a homily, and he presided at this event. Once the rosary was over (something about praying the rosary in a crowd always gives me chills), the statue was brought forward. It felt so timeless; the same sort of reverence and ritual which has been done so many times before by so many Catholics. It was reverent and I like that all of us in the basilica were joined by those around the world watching on EWTN. It was a global moment.

After the celebration was over, I went up to the statue, as did everyone else, and prayed and talked to Mary for a bit. Lately my prayers are a simple as "Thank you for the goodness that is my whole entire life, for all the blessings you give me, every single day, over and over." 

There are so many gorgeous representations of the Blessed Mother at the Basilica and I spent some time with my patroness, Our Lady of Guadalupe, in particular. I cannot make a visit to the Basilica without visiting the crypt, though, and the Lourdes grotto to the side which reads at top in stone, "I am the Immaculate Conception." This is the part of the entire building which moves me most deeply. The quiet, the stillness of the stone and candles, the sense that Mary is very near. There are no frills, no mosaics, no abundance of incense. It is just the image before you, which can become like a tattoo on one's heart.

"And they were afraid to ask him about this saying"

Today's gospel comes from Luke 9:43-45:

"While they were all amazed at his every deed,
Jesus said to his disciples,
"Pay attention to what I am telling you.
The Son of Man is to be handed over to men." 
But they did not understand this saying;
its meaning was hidden from them
so that they should not understand it,
and they were afraid to ask him about this saying."

The reading starts with the disciples' very understandable amazement at the physical wonders Jesus has performed, like we saw yesterday in Jesus's first encounter with Nathaniel. Nathaniel is impressed that Jesus knows his name before he introduces himself, and Jesus asks him to understand he will see much greater wonders than that. Can you imagine what it would have been like to spend time with Jesus, and watch how in town to town he heals people physically, freeing them from their sins and changing their lives? It would have been, in the truest sense of the word, awesome. The disciples are in absolute wonderment at what Jesus can do, and are trying to make sense of it.

Yet there is one thing that Jesus keeps "hidden" from them, which is the truth about the end of his life. Why would he need (or the Holy Spirit need) to keep this teaching hidden from them? I believe the answer is fear. The disciples could be afraid of losing their friend, afraid of the consequences for themselves as his followers, and even afraid to personally witness what will happen to him. If they understood what was coming, they may have struck out in preemptive violent against Jesus's enemies. Perhaps they simply weren't ready for it; not ready to be given comprehension and understanding of the mystery of Jesus's death.

In reading this, I feel it highlights a few important things, beginning with the necessity of faith. The disciples did not abandon Jesus after this moment, but stuck around despite their fearfulness for what he could mean. In faith, they persevered along beside him. Jesus in his wisdom knew they were not ready for this bit of truth, and I reflect how in my own life there could be things Jesus withholds from me because I am not ready. This is symbolic of our overall limited knowledge. Recently someone asked me whether I'd like to know what will happen in my life in the future, say 10 years down the road, and my answer was an emphatic no. We are not meant to know everything, and if we did, we may reject it. Yet in ten years I will be exactly where God wills me, whether it makes sense to me now or not. Truly, when I look at my life now vs. even just 5 years ago, it is unrecognizable. If someone had shown me my future I may not have been ready for it.

Then that closing line of the reading, that the disciples were afraid to ask him about this teaching. Is this a choice to be copied? Maybe - in that sometimes we should simply accept what Jesus shares even if it is difficult to comprehend. But, not out of fear, out of faith.

This is an opportunity to talk to Jesus about his teachings which scare me or are difficult to understand, and to pray to accept them with courage. How do I feel about what the church teaches, and are there any that are challenging or frightening? Do we fear falling short of God's grace if we cannot follow his teachings? In the end, the greatest thing is God's mercy, and he is always willing to listen to us if we bring our fears to him in prayer.