What questions are you asking?

The other night I was having dinner at Highland House, one of the L’Arche homes in Arlington. At the end of dinner, someone typically comes up with a question for everyone to answer, accompanied by each person’s prayer requests.

For some reason we were having trouble coming up with a question when Brooke leaned back in the candlelight (lights are turned out for prayer time at Highland House) and smiled. “Ah,” she said. “I’ve got a good one. What questions have you had lately?”

I loved this. I love questions in general (and find a way to incorporate question-asking into pretty much any talk or workshop I hold*) as a means of getting to know self and others, but have never thought to ask someone else purely: what are you wondering about?

Answers around the table varied: Why is the grass green? This one made me catch my breath: how can I live a simple and mystic life? And: how do you love someone you disagree with?

So I have been thinking about that these past few days, and will take this forward with me, to check in now and again and wonder, what questions do I have right now?

Here is what I have had the past couple days:

• Are you compromising your own faith when you affirm what others believe?

• What do virtue and habit have to do with each other if virtue is unearned and comes from God?

• Do people with disabilities live outside of time the way God does? (obviously, not in a physical sense - but in their own way of viewing and interacting with the temporal world)

• What role does government have in building community?

So anyway, those are a few.

*If the practice of question-asking sounds interesting, register for my March 7 workshop, Know Thyself: A Workshop for Growing in Self-Awareness! Prayer, writing and naming one’s values will be discussed and practiced; one needs to learn how to ask good, self-searching questions to do any of these three things, and certainly to know oneself. Shazam, people!

Who are our leaders?

I was part of a conversation recently about William F. Buckley, Jr., and his history-making role as the father of the American political conservative movement. It was posed that there would be no Cato, no Heritage, nor any of the other think tanks or political magazines were it not for this man, who was able to bring all the different types of conservatism - and there are differing types - together, using his characteristic diplomacy, humor and genuine idealism.

A character like that does not exist for the right or left right now. The only two I think come close are (were?) Barack Obama for democrats and President Trump for Republicans. We know, though, that both are incredibly divisive characters, so whether they can claim a status as a “uniter” is debatable.

It led me to a different thought, though. Why do we default to the President as the beacon of national unity? Has American society always held its political leaders - particularly in the office of the President - as its default leaders, in that sense? I genuinely do not know. What does it say about our values that we nearly deify presidents, electing them to do much more than just uphold the Constitution, and is it a departure from the Founders’ intent? Will we ever return to a time when writers and philosophers are the great unifiers?

In any case, I think America would do well to hold all elected officials with higher levels of skepticism. I am reminded of the fact that when John Adams left office, after losing the presidency to Thomas Jefferson, he simply left by carriage early in the morning before Jefferson’s inauguration. Basically, he left the White House in the 1801 version of an Uber Pool. This is unthinkable now for many practical reasons, but also because the Presidency is its own form of celebrity. Look no further than all those that run for president, knowing they have no chance of election, but with the guarantee of a book deal at the end.

The larger question, though, is who instead should we turn to, if not the president, for unifying leadership? I have one idea, that is rather timeless and not of my own making: the saints. But I suppose forgetting the saints, and deifying politicians, is what happens when, as a whole, society moves away from considering God at all.

I do not believe that presidents are wholly without merit, by any means, but there is a reason why American do not believe in God-ordained kings. Presidents - all politicians - are just men and women, after all.

There was another element to the whole conversation, which is that, if Buckley were so passionate about ideas, and transmitting them as a key part of growing his movement, how does the movement - any movement - grow now in an age where people are not particularly interested in ideas?

I don’t buy into this entirely. I think it’s a little pessimistic about human nature. While, yes, the world seems mostly interested in headlines and Twitter takes, I think we sell ourselves short to say humans are simply no longer interested in ideas. I suppose the question is how best to transmit them. There is more competition now for our attention than ever before. Maybe that is the better question: how do keep the desire for ideas alive in the digital age.

I wonder what John Adams would have said.

New workshop: Email Etiquette

Folks, I am excited to announce that I will soon be offering a workshop on Email Etiquette at General Assembly. As soon as the date is settled, I’ll share the registration here. In the meantime, a description:

Register for this Email Etiquette class to learn the do’s and don’ts of writing effective, positive, proactive email communication. Learn simple steps to guide your tone and professionalism when emailing, and learn when it’s time to move the conversation offline and face to face. Bring your sample troublesome emails and learn how to address constructively with real-life, practical examples.

And of course, we will talk about when to use exclamation marks (pretty much never). And my favorite saying, which has been attributed to both Kate Moss and Queen Elizabeth: never complain, never explain. Useful in email, and in life!

Unrelatedly, I will share that yesterday L’Arche had our Board meeting. The first meeting of the year is always on Georgetown’s campus, at the Jesuit Residence, Wolfington Hall. I only last year learned that, aside from the excellent lunch service, Wolfington has its own chapel. I went inside yesterday after the meeting to pray. It is utterly quiet, and corner-like, the building being up on a hill overlooking the Potomac, and most of the Jesuits off doing what they do on weekends.

There are a few glazed terracotta artworks from the 1500s inside. I have always loved the blue-and-white of glazed terracotta. I have seen it applied mostly to images of the Blessed Virgin holding baby Jesus, though inside this chapel there is one called “Joseph and the Child” by an Italian artist. How strange to think of his hands making, painting, glazing this work of art over 500 years ago, having no idea that a 21st Century secular Catholic girl in Washington, DC, a city that did not even exist at the time, would be ogling it. I probably should have prayed for his soul. I will do that now. Or - ask him to pray for me.

Anyway, outside the chapel, in a big, airy, sunshiney seating area, the suscipe is carved in stone, above a window. The suscipe is a prayer of genuine surrender written by St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits:

“Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.”

Surrender to God is hard, if we make it hard.