Pentecost Sunday: You are the Clay

Here we are! The final Sunday of the Easter season, the day when Jesus breathed the life-giving breath of the Holy Spirit on the apostles, charging them with spreading his word to all mankind. In that moment he made missionaries of his followers, a directive which has crossed through the generations to you and me. We are charged by the Holy Spirit to spread his word and live our lives according to Christ's teachings. What a beautiful thought - we have the same mission as the apostles!

This is always a special day for me, not just because I love the Holy Spirit and seeing how He moves in our lives, but because I remember the Pentecost Sunday where I became confirmed. It was just three years ago, though it seems longer because it is hard to remember the time before that, when I was mostly lost, whether I realized it or not. I wanted meaning, I wanted something deeper, but was mostly concerned with school work, my career and having a good time. These are not bad things, but when not ordered toward something more perfect - God - they can become demi-gods themselves. That's where I was, and thanks to the grace of my confirmation on that beautiful June day, that is what I left behind.

What has been so wonderful to learn in that time is that the search for God is a life-long journey. When Bishop Loverde made the sign of the cross on my forehead in oil, I wasn't finished. I wasn't magically healed and transformed into the perfect human being God intended for me to be (can we even be perfect on earth? That's a whole other topic). It's like the image of the old and new wine skins from  Matthew 9:17: "Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

As a newly-confirmed Catholic, I was the new wineskin. God gave me just a little new "wine" - spiritual knowledge - but not any more than I could handle. And if I had remained in my previous life (old wineskin) and been given new "wine," I would have ignored it or not known what to do. I suppose that is exactly what I did all those years when my sister or others would invite me to Mass and I didn't go. 

Similarly, someone once gave me this great image: it is like we are clay in God's hands, and he forms us over time. If you have worked with clay, you know you have to take it slow, forming and molding gently with small movements. The slightest wrong move can throw your pot entirely. So with us, God give us the little bit of growth we can handle - just enough to stretch and take us to a new level. And then after that, a little more, and a little more...

I look back on the things that scared me in 2014. For example, I began to think about starting a young adult group at my church, which I did. I guess I was afraid of - people not liking me? The group not taking off? Having to talk about my faith in a public way? Now, it's genuinely funny to imagine being scared by any of those things. So God pushed me ever so slightly, and I served him, and I grew, and then he pushed me some more, and my life is very different now than it was then. There is less fear. And I know there will be even greater things to come in the future, because that's just how it is when you respond to God willingly and with an open heart.

And even there, in that instance, that was the Holy Spirit working in my life. A small voice of inspiration ("Why don't you start a young adult group? Begin a blog?" and now I'm on the radio every month, and on it goes). The Holy Spirit is so good at knowing us and calling us to use our gifts, and every little gift has value. Are you really good at making ziti? Then, God bless you, make it and bring it to the church potluck. That's it! You have used your skills to nourish and comfort another. These are the gifts He calls out of us, just as He did the first apostles. You don't have to convert the entire European continent. Use what you have, where you are, in accordance with God's will and the call of the Holy Spirit, and you will have lived your God-given mission on this planet. Praise God for that! He has called us to be messengers, and he has given us all the tools we need.

Discernment and the Holy Spirit

When I was on retreat earlier this year I had a conversation with my priest about discernment. There was something in my life I was trying to make a decision about, and I felt I had interpreted some pretty specific signs, leading me to believe I had discerned a very clear and certain way forward on that particular question.

His response surprised me. As he explained, discernment of God's will in your life is less about concrete signs and more about reading the push and pull of all the directions of your life. Big decisions rarely come with an "I'm the right choice!" kind of sign, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was correct. You will see God move in one direction, and then the other, and it is up to you to discern what is going on.

Which leads me to another thought: there was a time in my life when I always needed to know what came next. Spoiler alert: life doesn't work that way. If William Shakespeare tells us life is a stage or a play, that's fine, but I can tell you all I know is that there is another act coming and I don't know what my lines or costume are. You just have to show up and play along. And, usually, it works out fine.

What changed my attitude about needing to know "how things turn out" was the realization that there is never just one purely right choice. Think about if you are considering a new job, a relationships or a trip somewhere. There have been countless, infinite instances where you could have chosen another job, another date, another trip - and so what? There was never one singular path you were destined for. You make a decision based on what you know at the time, using the best information and guesses you have. And then, you move on.

The other element that makes this easier is trust in God. I write, and think, so much about this because I do not think it is the most natural part of human nature to say, "Okay, God, you take this one!" But that's where the Holy Spirit comes in. This Sunday is Pentecost Sunday, also known as the birth of the Church and we are right in the middle of the Pentecost Novena (not too late to join!). In my own prayers during this novena, I am not exactly asking for anything concrete, but rather, the ability to discern via the Holy Spirit where my path is taking me, generally speaking. That's it. The gift of discernment. And then to follow His will, wherever it takes me, without shock or question, but with full trust. That must be one of the greatest gifts of the Holy Spirit - full trust in our Lord.

The Original Novena

FYI, friends: tomorrow, May 26th, marks the start of the original novena, aka the Pentecost Novena! You can join in here. 

I love this prayer, both because it is a prayer to our Advocate, the Holy Spirit, and also because I like imagining the scene of its original incarnation. The Pentecost Novena is also called the "original novena" because it took place over the nine days after Jesus's Resurrection while the apostles and His mother waited in the upper room, praying as He asked. They waited nine days - the length of all our novenas, now.

What would you ask the Holy Spirit for? Here are the gifts of the Holy Spirit, if you are developing your relationship with the Advocate, according to St. Paul, whose entire Christian life was a movement of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12):

The Holy Spirit is given to each of us in a special way. That is for the good of all. To some people the Spirit gives a message of wisdom. To others the same Spirit gives a message of knowledge. To others the same Spirit gives faith. To others that one Spirit gives gifts of healing. To others he gives the power to do miracles. To others he gives the ability to prophesy. To others he gives the ability to tell the spirits apart. To others he gives the ability to speak in different kinds of languages they had not known before. And to still others he gives the ability to explain what was said in those languages. All the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives gifts to each person, just as he decides.

You can also always simply ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and use you for His will during this prayerful time. Here is a simple way to ask His guidance before embarking on these nine days:

"Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth. 

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen."