When contemplative prayer is hard

There is too much going on. Too much noise, too many violent images, too much to worry about. I realize that when I allow the “too much” to become what fills my mind, it leaves no room for what should be there - an always active seeking of God.

I have never found contemplative prayer hard, which I know is a great grace. Stillness and quiet for a long stretch of time do not bother me. I know people who are bothered by what they view as awkward silences, and I get it, because we are wired to believe that if we are not doing or creating, we are - wasting time? Could be doing something more useful, or fun? I think I used to be that way, but keeping a practice of contemplative prayer in the morning has made those little thoughts disappear over time. I am fine with awkward silences now. I notice, too, that I feel like I am missing something if I do not spend that time in prayer, even if I do so poorly.

Anyway, there is just too much happening in the country and our world, and I have allowed it to distract me, mentally. When you spend more time on Twitter than you do in prayer, something is off. When politics becomes your religion, it is time to reassess.

Avoidance of prayer - for whatever reason or excuse - can lead to other not-as-nice behaviors, too. Maybe rather than giving up a situation to God, I drink instead. Or eat junk food. Or scroll through Instagram.

All of this became clear this afternoon as I listened to an episode of Bishop Barron’s Word on Fire show from May 18, called “The Cataclysm Sentence.” A description of the episode:

One day in 1961, the famous physicist Richard Feynman stepped in front of a Caltech lecture hall and posed this question to a group of undergraduate students: “If, in some cataclysm, all of scientific knowledge were to be destroyed, and only one sentence was passed on to the next generation of creatures, what statement would contain the most information in the fewest words?”

The host asks Bishop Barron what he thinks various Biblical figures and members of the life of the Church would say in response to that question.

Eventually they get to Thomas Merton. Bishop Barron says that contemplation, to Merton, was, “Finding the place in you where you are here and now being created by God.”

He continues: “To pray is consciously to focus on the fact that all of this is coming forth from this gracious divine source. The water bubbling up in you to eternal life, as Jesus called it to the woman at the well. To pray is to attend to this truth.”

“All of us, Merton taught, quite rightly…every baptized person is called upon to be a contemplative, in that sense.”

So, Bishop Barron via Thomas Merton advises, we must find our center through this great act of contemplative prayer, which is available to everyone.

Think about that phrasing: “Finding the place in you where you are here and now being created by God.” I realize I think of me, and the people around me, as finitely created by God - we are all here, and now, and present, case closed. But now we have the argument that we are continually being created by God, when we meet Him in prayer. This is why it is imperative to meet Him there, so that he can continue His work in us, and so that we may understand what it is He has called us to do.

Especially, in the face of violence and destruction and sadness in this world we live in.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Happy Birthday, Pope St. John Paul II

Even before I was a practicing Catholic, I had a great admiration for Karol Wojtyla, also known as Pope St. John Paul II. I admire his joy and love, his ability as a passionate communicator, the way he spoke and wrote about the freedom found only in Christ, his commitment to creating a culture of life, his generosity of spirit toward everyone, his love for the Blessed Mother, his incredible intelligence (actor, poet, playwright, fluent in something like 12 languages), and of course, the role he played in the downfall of communism in Eastern Europe. Today would have been his 100th birthday.

If you are ever DC once all this is past, do visit his shrine in Brookland:

The Saint John Paul II National Shrine

They have been holding some great online events, and I will be watching one later this week, one in a series about the Gospel of Life. More info:

In celebration of the 25th anniversary of Pope John Paul II’s encyclical The Gospel of Life, the Saint John Paul II National Shrine presents a series of lunchtime webinars on this message and how to accompany the elderly, women in crisis pregnancies, adults with intellectual disabilities, and perpetrators and victims of injustice.

You can register for that webinar series here.

Pope St. John Paul II, pray for us!