The Feast of St. Matthew

Today is the feast of St. Matthew. Appropriately, I attended noon Mass at St. Matthew's Cathedral, which is decked out in anticipation of Pope Francis's visit. It was a beautiful Mass, celebrated as a solemnity by three priests in red vestments, and with a higher number of attendees than the average daily Mass. I'm not sure if this is due to the feast day or Pope Francis's impending arrival, but the energy was even more loving and warm than usual in that great, golden cathedral.

This is the reading for today:

As Jesus passed by,
he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post.
He said to him, “Follow me.”
And he got up and followed him.
While he was at table in his house,
many tax collectors and sinners came
and sat with Jesus and his disciples.
The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples,
“Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
He heard this and said,
“Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.
Go and learn the meaning of the words,
I desire mercy, not sacrifice.
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.”
(Matthew 9:9-13)

There are a few things to think about here. One, take that sentence into your heart, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice." Sacrifice is the old way, mercy is the new. Also, what a lovely truth, that Jesus did not live for the "righteous," but for the sick and sinful sufferers who need His help - that is the whole point. Of course, that applies everyone, then and now. It is why Jesus's message is eternal.

The priest today focused on the nature of Matthew's call and acceptance to follow Christ: we are given the visual of a man who literally drops what he is doing, leaves his old life behind and never looks back. And what life did he leave behind? That of a tax collector, then seen as a reviled and corrupt profession. It explains why the Pharisees are so shocked by Jesus's choice in selecting Matthew, someone who should be hardened by sin (and yet, somehow, was perfect material to become an Apostle and evangelist). Out of St. Matthew's weaknesses, Jesus created strength.

And so, we are all called, given the directive to follow Jesus with what we are, not what we have. The priest shared a beautiful quote from Blessed John Henry Newman in exploring this point:

“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.

He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work.

I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments.

Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.”

He knows what He is about. Do you believe this? Have you felt abandoned by friends, alone in sickness, overcome by grief, lost without a sense of purpose? There is a design there, His design, and even in these times we can answer Jesus's call just as St. Matthew did, when He said, "Follow me." This is our task in this life, to follow in faith. It is a wonderful call, and the work of a lifetime.

The St. Therese Novena

Ya'll, it's time for another novena, courtesy of PrayMoreNovenas.com. I'm talking about the novena to St. Therese of Lisieux. She has been called "the greatest saint of modern times" and has been loved by many holy people, including to one of my favorites, Thomas Merton. I can testify to her strength: about two years ago when I was in a very sad place, I prayed to her - not only was my prayer answered, but I received that hallmark of the St. Therese novena: a rose. That's right, she sends you a rose, in one way or another, on the last day of prayer. It is a miracle, and it is very real, and countless people have had the same experience in reaching out to her. I should mention this was before I was even fully Catholic - in other words, she is paying attention and listening, no matter where you are in life.

I should mention that participating in this novena with Pray More Novenas joins you with the 212,000 other people participating from across the world. Imagine the power of that prayer. I will be joining in, though I need to give some thought to where my request will be directed. You can read more about her here. 

I also want to add that every time I join this community in prayer, something miraculous happens. I mean that - for every time the past few months where I have joined my thoughts with this community, I have received an answer in some form, and it has been loud and clear. I am truly grateful.

The novena begins on September 22 ahead of her October 1 feast day. Please join us, and get to know this powerful intercessor, St. Therese!

Forgiveness

I feel I am not equipped to write this post, or that I must do so from the point of view of a hypocrite. Well, I suppose that's many things in life, anyway, and a part of growing. At least I can acknowledge it.

The topic of forgiveness has been heavy on my mind in the past few months as I have seen places in my life where I feel I must forgive others for very real and hurtful actions. Some of them are things that happened a long time ago which I just now realize I have been holding onto, and some are very current. What makes it extra complicated, I realize, is that sometimes we have to forgive people for simply being themselves. That one is annoying. It would be great to be able to forgive a one-off action and move on - but forgiving someone's way of existence is just confusing. I think I don't like it because there's no solution or resolution. You have to acknowledge that something simply doesn't work, no matter how you look at it.

Last week I went to a talk given by the Center for Psychological Services entitled, "Forgiving Yourself and Others and Mental (and Physical) Health." The talk was given by Everett Worthington, a professor at Virginia Commonwealth University whose credentials are impressive, to say the least. This is a man whose mother was murdered - beaten to death with a club during a home invasion - and he was able to forgive the murderer. He has done tons of research on the topic of forgiveness and I found it fascinating that there are psychological researchers who have devoted their whole lives to studying this topic. It seems worthwhile, doesn't it?

 A few things stood out to me: of course there are the usual health benefits one would associate with forgiveness, both mental and physical, but I also liked his discussion of what forgiveness is not: forgiveness is not condoning an action or even reconciling with another person. It is something that happens within your own skin, and can only happen in your own skin, and you don't even need to communicate it to the other person. Sometimes it's better not to (for example, when that person doesn't know they have hurt you!). I appreciated knowing that forgiveness is not a two-way street, along the lines of reconciliation. Because there are situations wherein I can neither visualize nor desire reconciliation. Ultimately, though, I think the most important thing to remember is that forgiveness releases you and benefits you more than the person you are forgiving. It's absolutely critical to be able to move on. Ah, but sometimes we don't want to.

This is relevant considering the Year of Mercy starting December 8. Are mercy and forgiveness the same things? I can't figure it out. I think, though, that mercy is the first step toward forgiveness, and I don't think you can have one without the other. I do not find this naturally easy, though, when my ego gets worked up and I make assumptions and feel comfortable in self-righteousness. For this reason I plan to play special attention during the upcoming year, read more on the topic and pray (perhaps the Divine Mercy chaplet is a good place to start) on how I can improve my own ability to forgive.

By the way - I received the very thrilling news that I get to volunteer at, and attend, the Pope's canonization Mass for Blessed Junipero Serra when the Holy Father is town later this month! This is a blessing beyond belief and an answered prayer - one of many recently. I am so overjoyed that I get to not only see the Pope, but meet lots of other excited Catholics and witness this special event. Needless to say, I have never seen a canonization before. Holy cow! Or holy Junipero Serra, I should say. See what I did there?